In The Land Of The Inconvenient And The Roller Furler Foiler Curser

Rain was off and on this week. Around boats everything we do is inconvenient. Accessibility is difficult and cramped. Nothing is easy. I have tools, but I always need something that I don't have  and have to improvise. Things you need are stowed behind several things you don't need. You cannot simply move those several things over. You must take them out and pile them on the deck, grab the thing you need and put everything back only then realizing that you need another thing that's back where you just were. Boat folk pride themselves in the ability to accomplish a task under adverse conditions. They say "Look I screwed on a bolt" as they pat themselves on the back. It's just a bolt, but it was extremely difficult to access and accomplish. This whole damn website is me saying such ilk. It matters not whether I'm clever or dumb or both simultaneously. It is what I have to do. 

Once the wind generator was up, I realized that I had forgotten to put on the nose cone, I went to get the three special M5 X 0.8 X 25 mm nylon screws to fasten it on. Two were missing, the tray holding the screws tipped over. I had only one. An extensive search produced another. I finally stumbled on the third after searching on the deck and under the boat and back up to the deck, I grabbed the two-step stool set it up on the aft deck and climbed it with the nylon screws in my mouth, the nose cone in my hand and the screwdriver in my back pocket.  I was about a foot short. I grabbed a couple of milk crates, piled them up and climbed up. Too precarious and still too short, so I started scrounging a ladder. Jim, boat yard guy, said I could use the 10' ladder and access the generator from the ground. I dragged it over to the aft of the boat and climbed up with the nose cone in my hand, the nylon screws in my mouth and the screwdriver in my pocket. It was too short. Back to asking around, I found a 5' ladder.......perfect. I hauled it onto the aft deck and climbed it with the nylon screws in my mouth, the nose cone in my hand and the screwdriver in my back pocket. Finally! It was perfect. I held the nose cone in place and started the three nylon screws with my fingers. I then tightened them gently with the screwdriver (it was in my back pocket). The third screw's head twisted off! I took the other two screws back out, put them in my mouth, grabbed the nose cone in my hand and stuffed the screwdriver in my back pocket and climbed down the ladder.  I had to gently unscrew the broken off screw using a pliers, which was not in my back pocket. I put the two good screws in the tray set the nose cone down, put the screwdriver away and returned the ladder. New screws are on order. When they come in, I'll try it again. I know where to find a ladder............if they don't move it.

So the very next morning, I was cleaning up stuff and stumbled on...............a bag of wind generator spare parts with two nylon screws. So once again I ascended the ladder which I had to retrieve from the spot I stowed it the day before with the screws in my mouth, the screwdriver in my back pocket and the nose cone in my hand Ten minutes later, it was done. Nothing inconvenient about it! Anybody need some nylon M5 x 25 mm screws? They will be here next week.

I finished up the roller furler by sliding on the last foil sections.  There I was, walking the plank, moving at sloth speeds with a death grip on the fore stay sliding foil halves together and cursing. The foil half sections are 5' long and the joints are staggered for strength.  I first put a length on then a half-length to assure those aforementioned staggered joints then slooooooowly added foils section by section and cursing (Curses, foiled again!). The whole shebang was held up by a reluctant rolling hitch held up by a halyard. I would slide a section on and lift it up while lowering the rolling hitch that didn't want to slide or hold without persuasion. Rain delays and the whole process was extremely inconvenient. Finally I got all the foil sections up and then had to measure and cut the bottom sections to correct length. There were two short 3" sections that act as sail feeds into the foil slots. They were staggered with the foil sections which made it inconvenient. Finally everything was in place held up by a vice grip pliers clamped on the fore stay. The instruction book was difficult to read as the book got caught in the rain and that wonderful Brazilian ink it was printed with was water soluble and bled so I had to study and interpret the smudges as best I could. Hmmmmmmmm, next "Remove the fore stay"! Oh crap. Much bowelship language. First tie off the halyard to the bow roller, yank it tight and tie it off. Next, loosen up the lashings enough so I could get the fore stay off the triangle thingy. Once accomplished, slide on the drum (right side up, please), hold it up with a second vise grip pliers, re-attach the fore stay and re-tighten the lashings. Then slide everything together and tighten up the 4 bolts. Everything is so easy on a boat (it says so in the instruction book). The instruction book that I couldn't read blew away in the wind and I can't find it. "I see" said the blind man to his deaf wife.

My only metric tape measure gave up the ghost and, in it's death throes, vomited up all 8 meters (25 quarts in American) of tape onto the ground. 

I took the now non-retractable tape and laid it on the deck, I added another meter and a half (some odd cubits in American) and doubled the rope to get three sections of the proper 19 meters for the sheets. I stuffed them into the bags with their respective sails.

Another example of the absolute guarantee of inconvenience. Budge designed the seats in the cockpit to stay open so one could access the contents. I put the cockpit roof supports in and the seat lids would not stay open. Getting tired of the inconvenience of holding the lid with my head while I took stuff out with my hands. I finally decided to cut a notch in the face so the seat would stay open.

Here's me drilling holes in the bottom of the tool box where I keep the long bolts that don't fit anywhere else. It had a puddle in the bottom. The rainy week got and kept everything wet. I wanted to put stuff away, but couldn't because it would stay damp and get moldy.

I am working at finding places for all this crap. I may have a crap sale.

Lest I forget.................

The Music​♫: Evelyn Knight "Buttons And Bows"

Happy. What do you want, Bob, Jane and Roy?