First thing's first. A song about eating LSD by a British rapper who rhymes in proper English, plays a Banjolele (A tiny banjo,) and samples I Like To Move It by Reel 2 Reel. I love this guy. Ladies and gentlemen.... Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer! He also has a song called Everything Stops For Acid. I think her likes LSD.
Several months back I adopted a jumping spider I named Jill. After some research I found that she is of the Genus Tutelina. (Think king TUT and AngELINA Jolie.) I also found that Tutelina was a Roman Goddess that protected the crops brought in from the harvest. Bugs eat produce, spiders eat bugs. She sounds like a spider to me.
Anyway, Jill and I have been close for several months now. She even came with me to Ohio for Christmas. She's so well fed that she now has a Badonkadonk. For those of you not up to date on your colloquialisms, it means to have an "Ass so fat you can that you could see it from the front." [Def, Mos 1999] The proper name for their posterior is the abdomen.
Fun fact of the day, spiders are not insects. Insects (Insectum meaning in sections,) ALWAYS have six legs. Insect is the Class in the scientific classification, and spiders are of the class Arachnid. COOL! Both share the phylum Arthropoda. Crabs and Lobsters are also Arthropods. So the next time you're eating that Crab, remember that you are consuming a giant, detritus eating, bug. Okay, they aren't bugs, but they do eat filth and are deeeeeelicous. Detritus is a pretty word for decaying organic matter. Crabs eat live stuff too if that makes you feel better.
I've gotten off on a rant again. Here's a picture of Jill before and after.
Anyway, Jill and I have been close for several months now. She even came with me to Ohio for Christmas. She's so well fed that she now has a Badonkadonk. For those of you not up to date on your colloquialisms, it means to have an "Ass so fat you can that you could see it from the front." [Def, Mos 1999] The proper name for their posterior is the abdomen.
Fun fact of the day, spiders are not insects. Insects (Insectum meaning in sections,) ALWAYS have six legs. Insect is the Class in the scientific classification, and spiders are of the class Arachnid. COOL! Both share the phylum Arthropoda. Crabs and Lobsters are also Arthropods. So the next time you're eating that Crab, remember that you are consuming a giant, detritus eating, bug. Okay, they aren't bugs, but they do eat filth and are deeeeeelicous. Detritus is a pretty word for decaying organic matter. Crabs eat live stuff too if that makes you feel better.
I've gotten off on a rant again. Here's a picture of Jill before and after.
The pictures are mediocre since she's so small. I'd try harder but you don't care.
So not only is she much larger, but look how much shinier she is! So golden.
So remember my title "With spring comes love." In hunting down bugs for her dinner, I found another Tutelina. I noticed it had characteristics of a male so I threw him in the jar. They would get along, or she would have a good meal, or both. Don't judge me for locking a dude in a prison with a much larger cannibal. I dubbed him Jack. Jack and Jill would be cuter if the tale didn't end in Jack busting his head. Anyhoo, He ended up moving into her nest, she joined him, and they spent the night together. Young blossoming love. I'll spare you the details of how they procreate.
An interesting twist is that the next day she had not only NOT eaten him, because I have her so well fed I suppose, but she decided that she wanted nothing to do with him and started building a new nest. He moved in, got some spider nookie, and she left the house to him. Not a bad deal. I'd risk death for some sex and a house. Seeing that she was no longer interested in him I went ahead and let him free. She immediately moved back into her home. You're welcome Jill.
To my great joy, a week later I found there was a small yellow circle in her nest, very hard to see. I'VE DELVED INTO ARACHNID HUSBANDRY! I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDPA!! Yes, I am in fact ecstatic. Hey! I don't judge when you're excited about recreation I care nothing about!
Ever seen spider babies? Below is a picture of a nest we found on the boat full 'em. They are sooo cuuuuuuute.
So not only is she much larger, but look how much shinier she is! So golden.
So remember my title "With spring comes love." In hunting down bugs for her dinner, I found another Tutelina. I noticed it had characteristics of a male so I threw him in the jar. They would get along, or she would have a good meal, or both. Don't judge me for locking a dude in a prison with a much larger cannibal. I dubbed him Jack. Jack and Jill would be cuter if the tale didn't end in Jack busting his head. Anyhoo, He ended up moving into her nest, she joined him, and they spent the night together. Young blossoming love. I'll spare you the details of how they procreate.
An interesting twist is that the next day she had not only NOT eaten him, because I have her so well fed I suppose, but she decided that she wanted nothing to do with him and started building a new nest. He moved in, got some spider nookie, and she left the house to him. Not a bad deal. I'd risk death for some sex and a house. Seeing that she was no longer interested in him I went ahead and let him free. She immediately moved back into her home. You're welcome Jill.
To my great joy, a week later I found there was a small yellow circle in her nest, very hard to see. I'VE DELVED INTO ARACHNID HUSBANDRY! I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDPA!! Yes, I am in fact ecstatic. Hey! I don't judge when you're excited about recreation I care nothing about!
Ever seen spider babies? Below is a picture of a nest we found on the boat full 'em. They are sooo cuuuuuuute.
Now you're likely to have your skin crawling. Get over it. They're just living creatures... Who happen to have venom... And tend to bite when they're afraid..... And are hideous by our standards.
The vast, VAST majority of spiders are absolutely harmless!... Though the recluse bite can cause large necrotic lesions, MRSA it is often misdiagnosed as a recluse bite. Poor little guys take the rap for a MUCH more dangerous creature. Bacteria. Bubonic plague devastated the old world, TB kills around a million people a year globally, and drug-resistant bacteria killed 23,000 Americans in 2013. Don't get all Howard Hughes though. Cars kill 30,000 to 40,000 Americans yearly, and around 1.2 million globally. If you're 10-24, it is the most likely way to die. Spiders kill around 3 a year GLOBALLY and that's due to allergic reactions. There have been NONE in the US over the past 100 years. Prioritize your fears people.
Back to spider babies. It's hard to tell what genus these guys are at such a young age, but they look to me like Cora. Remember Cora? Of course you don't. She was a Comb footed spider. Heeeeeeere's Cora!
The vast, VAST majority of spiders are absolutely harmless!... Though the recluse bite can cause large necrotic lesions, MRSA it is often misdiagnosed as a recluse bite. Poor little guys take the rap for a MUCH more dangerous creature. Bacteria. Bubonic plague devastated the old world, TB kills around a million people a year globally, and drug-resistant bacteria killed 23,000 Americans in 2013. Don't get all Howard Hughes though. Cars kill 30,000 to 40,000 Americans yearly, and around 1.2 million globally. If you're 10-24, it is the most likely way to die. Spiders kill around 3 a year GLOBALLY and that's due to allergic reactions. There have been NONE in the US over the past 100 years. Prioritize your fears people.
Back to spider babies. It's hard to tell what genus these guys are at such a young age, but they look to me like Cora. Remember Cora? Of course you don't. She was a Comb footed spider. Heeeeeeere's Cora!
Oh. I almost forget. We also glued some stuff onto the boat. I do work as well.